Learning Journal 30

I feel like this semester flew by! I swear just yesterday I had decided to go to Tonga on a field study and here I am getting ready to finish the prep class and take off in about 3 weeks. It has been a crazy and stressful semester. I am glad it is over but the prospect of actually having to leave the country and go to a foreign land is still really intimidating. As the time gets closer for me to leave I get more and more excited but I still can't shake the feelings of nervousness and sometimes downright fear. These feelings stem from the fact that I have never been out of the country before I have very little experience with different cultures, and I have very little ideas of what it will be like once I get down there. This will be the first time I have ever been anywhere without a group of friends or family. Anytime I have ever been somewhere other than my home the other people I am with make the decisions and know what they are doing. I am going down to Tonga with a group but we will all be in different families and will basically be doing our own thing, making our own decisions, and don't really know what we are going to be doing. I have really been thinking about things down there and how I'm basically going to be by myself in Tonga. I will be alone to make my own decisions and do my own thing. It is a daunting task that many times has caused me to wonder if I can handle it. Many times I have had thoughts of "what am I doing? I can't do this!". I was talking to my roommates about a month ago and told them I couldn't do it, I didn't want to be alone. I was kind of having a bit of a break down actually. One of them told me that I won't be alone, that I'll never be alone. Heavenly Father will always be there watching over me. This really hit me hard. I knew this principle but I've never applied it like that. I know this sounds cheesy but I firmly believe in this principle. It gives me such hope and comfort and I feel a lot better about going to a foreign country. I know everything will be okay because I have the Lord on my side.

Learning Journal 29

So I had a really good chat with Dallin today about what to expect of my field study experience. He basically just said that it is going to be really hard. Trying to figure out how to live in a different culture is hard work. he said that feelings of wanting to go home are normal so is a little crying. He said not to think its going to be a party down there. There will be ups and downs and it will will be very challenging. While he was telling me this I was kind of having feelings of "oh boy what did I get myself into" and "am I going to be able to handle this" again. It kind of got me worried about trying to assimilate into a new culture. One of the things Dallin did say that really helped me was the part he said after the ups and downs. He said something to the effect of "just like life, it has its ups and downs too and you just have to get through them". I really liked when he said that. It made me think about all the trials and hard things I've had to get through to get where I am today Yes, they were hard but I got through them and even though they were hard the experience was worth it. I grew in so many different ways and learned so much because it was hard. I know these thoughts are a little jumbled and might be confusing but I think I've finally realized that even though a field study is a TON of work and as hard as it will get down there in Tonga, the experience will be worth it! So bring it on!!

Learning Journal 28

So I have definitely been thinking a lot about service. Especially after listening to General Conference. I feel like a lot of the talks were about serving others and watching out for the needs of those around you. It made me think about how service is portrayed in our culture and how it might be different in a Tongan society. In our culture I think that sometimes service isn't readily rendered. Meaning that we either are too busy to notice someone to serve them or we feel awkward. I know I have felt this way many times. I see someone I could serve and then I don't serve them because I second guess myself and think they don't really need help. Or else I am just too busy with my life to notice. I feel like in many instances service requires a conscious effort. by talking to many Tongan's and other people that associate with them I have come to realize that service is just a part of their life. They live to serve others and are constantly watching out for others well being. In fact I met this Tongan and when I told him about my project he was already trying to find ways to help me with it. I am really excited to get into the culture and to truly learn from the Tongans.

Learning Journal 27

I have thought a lot about culture shock and how it will affect me while when I get to the field. I have thought about all the different things I might experience and what things will be different than what I'm used to. In the article, "Coping with Culture Shock" by Ferraro, it talks about all the many different aspects of culture shock that I haven't even thought of. It defines culture shock as precipitated by the anxiety that results from losing all our familiar signs and symbols of social intercourse. I read through a bunch of the items on the list and a lot of them I haven't even thought of. Things like how people meet each other, how they greet and interact with each other, and the rituals or other things they do that are different than what I am used to. I also didn't think about things like our humor being different. I mean I feel like a lot of people think I am funny and laugh at me. One of the things I love to do is make people laugh and I'm afraid that I won't be able to in Tonga. I think the best thing I can do for right now in preparing for culture shock is to not expect anything. Just do my best everyday and remember that I can do anything for a day.

Learning Journal 26

So I have been thinking about the assignment Dallin gave us last class. He told us to go and talk to a random stranger and then write about it. So I did it. Today I went to Seven Peaks Ice Arena to skate with the little girl I mentor. A couple classes were there as well as hers and we were all able to get on the ice and skate. I observed a lot of things about the kids as they were skating. For some of them I couldn't help but make assumptions about. I am still working on the whole just strictly observations. I was skating around and this little girl needed help skating so I grabbed her hand and we skated. I must say for not being such a hot skater my self I did a really good job of keeping both of us on our feet! After awhile this someone else's mother came and grabbed her other hand. We just glided around and we're having a grand ole time. I wasn't really talking to the mom too much cause i was mostly concentrating on staying on my feet. Well the mom must have either wanted to practice entering my community or try to connect with me somehow by asking me about the girl I was helping, "oh is this your daughter?". It completely took me off guard. This little girl was almost 9 years old! Do I really look like I could have a 9 year old daughter? I was so shocked I just said,"oh um.... no we actually just met this morning". I think the mom was kind of embarrassed cause she didn't ask me any more questions after that. Looking back on this experience reminds me of when I tried to enter someone else's community. I asked her if she was preparing for easter and she didn't answer and then thought I wasn't talking to her. So im sure me and the mom that talked to me felt a little bit the same. These two experiences have made me think about the right and wrong ways to enter a community. There are definitely better ways of doing it as Allyson so easily illustrated to me in the bookstore. I have also thought about different ways to enter a community in a different culture. Some ideas might be paying attention to what they are talking about, what interests they might have, and other things like what is important to them. In the next couple of weeks I am going to keep thinking about different ways I can enter a community and maybe practice doing so.... maybe....